Randumbness
by LegitEmi
Summary: It all started when our overrated adventurer, May.


**I used a a story generator, I know i shouldn't have done that, Sorry about that too. But i wanted to see how it turned out. But you guys will be the judges of that! Hope this works...**

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It all started when our overrated adventurer, May, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling very puzzled, May backhanded a banana, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, she realized that her beloved PokeGear was missing! Immediately she called her so-called friend, Ash. May had known Ash for (plus or minus) 1.2 billion years, the majority of which were enticing ones. Ash was unique. He was intelligent though sometimes a little... insensitive. May called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Ash picked up to a very happy May. Ash calmly assured her that most Indonesian devil cats grimace before mating, yet venomous koalas usually scandalously turn red *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting May. Why was Ash trying to distract May? Because he had snuck out from May's with the PokeGear only three days prior. It was a flamboyant little PokeGear... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before May got back to the subject at hand: her PokeGear. Ash sighed. Relunctantly, Ash invited her over, assuring her they'd find the PokeGear. May grabbed her elephant and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Ash realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the PokeGear and he had to do it fearlessly. He figured that if May took the rice rocket, he had take at least eleven minutes before May would get there. But if she took the car? Then Ash would be alarmingly screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Ash was interrupted by ten stupid dogs that were lured by his PokeGear. Ash yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling angered, he aggressively reached for his ninja star and fearlessly slapped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent-the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the haunted thicket, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the car rolling up. It was May.

-o0o-

As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at Sears to pick up a 12-pack of carrots, so she knew she was running late. With a quick leap, May was out of the car and went flamboyantly jaunting toward Ash's front door. Meanwhile inside, Ash was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the PokeGear into a box of dangerous oil-soaked rags and then slid the box behind his rhinocerus. Ash was exasperated but at least the PokeGear was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Ash indiscriminately purred. With a calculated push, May opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some abrasive spite-toting jerk in a gas-guzzling, ecology-destroying, tankish SUV,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Ash assured her. May took a seat vaguely close to where Ash had hidden the PokeGear. Ash grimaced trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But May was distracted. In a tragically predictable turn of events, Ash noticed a selfish look on May's face. May slowly opened her mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Ash felt a stabbing pain in his love handle when May asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the PokeGear right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A stupid look started to form on May's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dangerous oil-soaked rags from when she used to have pet legless puppies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. May nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Ash could react, May recklessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The PokeGear was plainly in view.

May stared at Ash for what what must've been ten minutes. A few unfulfilled decades later, Ash groped indiscriminately in May's direction, clearly desperate. May grabbed the PokeGear and bolted for the door. It was locked. Ash let out a enchanting chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, May,' he rebuked. Ash always had been a little selfish, so May knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Ash did something crazy, like... start chucking ninja stars at him or something. Absolutely thrilled, she gripped her Poke Gear tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Ash looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from May. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame four days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for May. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Ash walked over to the window and looked down. May was gone.

-o0o-

Just yonder, May was struggling to make her way through the disease-infested jungle behind Ash's place. May had severely hurt her scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral dogs suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Poke Gear. One by one they latched on to May. Already weakened from her injury, May yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of dogs running off with her Poke Gear.

But then God came down with His plucky smile and restored May's Poke Gear. Feeling exasperated, God smote the dogs for their injustice. Then He got in His Jap Trap and darted away with the fortitude of 61 legless puppies running from a tinsy pack of spotted wolf hamsters. May ran with joy when she saw this. Her Poke Gear was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in eleven minutes her favorite TV show, Two and a Half Men, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When legless puppies meet unborn fetus'). May was excited. And so, everyone except Ash and a few bloody glove-toting albino cats lived blissfully happy, forever after.

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**I don't get the story i don't have enough time to read it. Which was a bad movie by me... but I already did it. Might read it my self and give it a try. Well i hope you guys like the story! Even though it was randomly generated! This will be the only time I will use a generator.**


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